crap, I did it again

Procrastinating at higher level, that is. I knew that I had the seed. but I don't know that I can raise it this bad. As I was stated before, I am 23 y o. so yes, I should be in the brim of productivity and such, bloom at it's finest.... 

then here I am, in the faaaar east of my own country, fighting for I don't know what since I don't hold great compassion or profession such as teacher or nurse or even doctor; or something cool as police or SS or army noo. I'm just a humble civil servant work for non-departement institution,